Being The Camel

My stress level has been close to unbearable lately. This is a lot blunter than I usually start off my posts, but that's sort of the point.

It's partly my standard life challenges that are always present; money worries, relationship issues, kids school problems, etc. All these are contributors, but right now what's pushing me close to the breaking point is that we're dealing with illness again. Nothing that appears to be catastrophic or untreatable - please God!! - but more serious than the routine ear infection or stomach bug, and as of today, still unsolved.

Last week the child in question needed an outpatient test which required anesthesia. About ten minutes after he was wheeled into the operating room (he was there only about 45 minutes altogether), we started to panic. We tried to keep this to ourselves, but our distress must have been obvious enough that one of the nurses came to reassure us, probably thinking we were new to this sort of thing. I felt bound to tell her that we were having so much trouble because we had lost a child this year. "Ohh!"... long pause. "Don't worry, you won't lose this one. He did fine." she finally stammered out.

I wish I could share more details but I need to respect my child's privacy. Again, God willing everything will be OK.

Meanwhile, I'm sure that tomorrow - or maybe even later today - I will go back to posting my light pleasant distractions, little ones like comics, sports, and movies, occasional bigger ones like birthdays or weddings (did I not yet post about that last one?? - mazel tov, dear friends!!!) But these writings, though sincerely meant, are not truly helping lighten the camel's load, just diverting its attention as more bundles of straw, with the occasional brick, keeps being piled on. What I really need is something to strengthen my breaking back itself.

If I find it, you'll be the first to know.