Questions of My Childhood
"Well I walk the road of life among the strong, among the weak
And I ask them for the shortcut to the answers that I seek
But it seems nobody understands what is and what will be
Oh the questions of my childhood
Weave a web of mystery"
- Kansas, "Questions Of My Childhood"
When I was a small fry, I was much too smart for my own good. As an illustration, here are 10 of the burning questions I had at age nine or so:
- How can Batman and Robin slide down the batpoles in their regular clothes and land at the bottom in their uniforms?
- If the Professor can make houses, plates and cups, a car, and a washing machine from materials found on the island, why can't he build a boat?
- Who would win in a battle between Samantha and Jeannie?
- Why does Yogi Bear wear a hat, shirt collar and tie, but no other clothes?
- Why does Grover wear pajamas to bed and then walk around naked all day?*
- If Mickey the Mouse, Donald the Duck, and Goofy the Whatever can all talk, then why can't Pluto the dog?
- In the "Three Bears" story, if the middle-sized bowl of porridge had already gotten cold, wouldn't the little, wee bowl be even colder, instead of "just right"?**
- When the Coyote falls off a cliff, where do his bandages suddenly come from?
- Why does Underdog always wait to use his secret energy pill until he is on the verge of defeat? Same question for Peter Potamus and his "Hurricane Hippo Holler"?
- In the Wacky Races, why doesn't Professor Pat Pending win every single time, since he can change his car into a rocket or whatever he wants?
Did anyone else ask questions like these? Make me feel good, tell me yours!
* OK, my kid sister came up with that one, but I still liked it!
** OK, this one wasn't fully original - Linus asked the same thing. But I did wonder about it too.