Dinner With Invisible T-Rex

I mentioned yesterday that Debbie, the kids, and I had dinner with some other families on Sunday night. In fact, the gathering was not with local friends, but with folks from a different NJ community, at the home of one of Debbie's co-workers. Why this was significant: nobody there, except for (possibly) the hostess, knew about what I referred to, in my inaugural blog post, as "the T-Rex in the room" - the fact that we've lost a child. It was actually our first significant social interaction, since Aaron's passing, where this was the case.

My feelings that evening are difficult to describe. On the one hand, it was a relief to be able to make light conversation about school, work, restaurants, Lebanese pigeons, etc., just like "normal" people. At the same time, it felt awkward and somewhat surreal for our T-Rex to be incognito; almost like we were slighting Aaron's memory. I found myself both hoping and dreading that somehow the conversation would provide an opening for us to share our secret.

I know others who have suffered this unendurable loss have similar stories to tell. It sounds like it never gets any easier.