Drug of Choice

[Aaron's Story - Preface]

My wife Debbie, using the vernacular of her social work profession, described going back to work earlier this month - after a seven week break following Aaron's passing - as her "drug of choice". That is, overshadowing any career aspirations or financial necessity that may also come into play, she principally views working right now as a way of coping with the overwhelming, paralyzing emotions over our son's loss. Focusing on work outside the home is a distraction that, much like aspirin, can help blot out the pain but does not cure.

I am beginning to realize that for me, blogging is becoming a "drug of choice". I have chosen so far to blog mainly about a variety of extraneous topics, despite what I described in my first post as "the T-Rex in the room". Do I genuinely find these topics to be of interest, and do I enjoy sharing these ideas and opinions with my hardy readership? Certainly. But are these posts also (or even mainly) a distraction from the dark thoughts that are always at the back of my mind, and often threaten to take over the rest of it as well?

Yes.

So I have determined to start what I have been both dreading, and longing to do. I will be writing about our loss of Aaron - beginning with the weeks before his death, and ending with the funeral and shiva. In objective time duration, the story was incredibly brief, but emotionally and subjectively, it is deep beyond measure.

You can view this post as a preface to Aaron's story. I will be continuing this topic soon - maybe in my next post, maybe a few days later. But in essence, I am ready to begin supplementing the pain-killer with something a lot stronger. My new drug may well have painful side-effects, but eventually, I hope it will also promote healing.

Thanks for listening.

Link to Aaron's Story: Intro