King of the Leasts
Not that I have any excuse to brag about either of the two football teams I root for, but one has to pause and acknowledge the very first NFL team to go 0-16! So let's hear it for the 2008 Detroit Lions, who made even the Redskins and Jets look stellar this year!
Lions Coach Rod Marinelli, at his closing press conference after being handed his pink slip today, had nearly as little success coming up with anything worthwhile to say, as his team had on the gridiron. E.g., "Let our record speak for itself, but when I look at worst, that is worst and this group of men, we didn’t succeed on the field in terms of our record, but they succeeded in everything I wanted them to do..." etc., etc., and other such dull pap. I think Marinelli should have taken a page from the late, irrepressible John McKay, coach of the 1976 expansion Tampa Bay Bucs, who went 0-14 as the only other winless team in NFL - and thus, obviously, in all major league sports - history. Here are a few of my favorite, classic McKay quotes:
So for the toothless '08 Lions, along with my beloved 'Skins and Jets, I close with a quote from another sincere, yet hapless coach:
When asked about the execution of his offense, he responded, "I'm in favor of it."
"We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking".
"We can't win at home, we can't win on the road, and quite frankly we're running out of other places to play."
“You guys don't know the difference between a football and a bunch of bananas.”
"If you have everyone back from a team that lost 10 games, experience isn't too important."
"The bus leaves in an hour. Those of you who need showers, take them."
After the Bucs finally won their first game, the 13th (2nd-to-last) of the 1977 season: "Three or four plane crashes and we're in the playoffs!"
"JUST WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!!!"