Elie's Expositions

A bereaved father blogging for catharsis... and for distraction. Accordingly, you'll see a diverse set of topics and posts here, from the affecting to the analytical to the absurd. Something for everyone, but all, at the core, meeting a personal need.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Four Pre-Pesach Questions

Since my kids will hopefully be taking care of the mah nishtanah at the seder, I've had time to ponder a different set of four questions:

1) Why is this price different from all other prices? The rest of the year, a 12-pack of kosher string cheese is $9.69 and chicken thighs are $1.29 a pound. Why this month are they $13.00 and $1.89 a pound instead?

2) Why is this cleaning different than all other cleanings? The rest of the year, when you vacuum a room that nobody ever eats in, the floor stays clean. Why this week do new crumbs keep appearing all by themselves?

3) Why is this van filthier than all other vans? The vans of other families whose youngest child is already eleven years old, don't have decaying food and food wrappers over every square inch of the floor. Why did ours?

4) Why are these leftovers different than all other leftovers? The rest of the year, my kids are happy to eat all kinds of prepackaged foods. Why is it that a few days before Pesach, when we're trying to finish off stuff from our freezer, do they suddenly no longer like pizza bagels, blintzes, and fish sticks, or even our drawer full of candy, and want us to go out and buy new chumetzdik foods?? (As if!!)

I don't expect answers, but post 'em if you've gottem, as well as any more questions I didn't think of!


At 3/28/07, 3:34 PM, Anonymous Double Take said...

Everything you describe is happening in our house too! We have three bags of pitta (you lucky Americans have bagels, we have pittot)in the freezer - the kids normally LOVE pitta, but of course now they turn their noses up at it, including my eighteen-month-old. It's called murphy's law.

At 3/28/07, 8:42 PM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

I like these questions better than the original 4, so I will start teaching my daughter these unique questions and I hope she gets them by the time the seder comes:)

At 3/28/07, 11:37 PM, Blogger torontopearl said...

Elie, great post! Mah Nishtanah indeed!

At 3/29/07, 4:41 AM, Blogger Alan aka Avrum ben Avrum said...

Dear Reb Elie,

I detect a smile behind this post!Continue to feel better.

I remain,

Very Sincerely Yours,

Alan D. Busch

At 3/29/07, 9:01 AM, Anonymous tova said...

oh I don't know. I remember a certain someone buying crackers and Wise potato chips (the chometz variety!) on bedikas chometz night, all the while getting very strange looks from the frum person in line ahead of us!!

At 3/29/07, 12:08 PM, Blogger Elie said...

DT, SWFM, Pearl: Glad you liked the questions. I just thought of a fifth one: Why does this holiday feel like it's ending when we sit down to the seder, instead of starting?

Avrum: I'm trying. Mostly its smiling and crying at the same time. But that's a step up.

Tova: Where would we be without little sisters bringing up our past quirks?? OK, so I admit my kids come by this somewhat honestly. But to set the record straight, it wasn't chips and crackers, it was just chips, and I finished them that very night! So there!

(And thanks for not mentioning the imfamous "that's the way the cookie crumbles" episode! :-})

Also can't help saying, boy do I ever miss the days where I could eat an entire 6 ounce bag of Wise potato chips and not gain any weight.

At 3/30/07, 12:38 PM, Blogger Soccer Dad said...

One thing that keeps Pesach prices down is when the big chains carry Pesach items. Grape and Apple Juice is relatively inexpensive because Giant and SuperFresh are carrying pesach items at lower prices.

I thought that my children were the messiest. :-)

And we've had a few freezer clearing dinners. (I actually thought that the Blintzes were pretty good. But we never got to the salmon.)


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